It’s that time of year again and you know what that means in soapland. Tears, shocks at the dinner table and all the Christmassy tropes you can think of. But what we rarely see in soapland is what the rest of us experience every year, that cold sweat and panic, the chaos and mayhem, the bank-breaking last minute splurge – Christmas gift buying!
So here’s a fun, tongue-in-cheek little gift guide for a few Emmerdale villagers and a few of the best fan suggestions about what they’d buy the characters for Xmas!
Chrissie and Rebecca
It’s hard work being the resident ice queen in the village and Chrissie’s gonna need something glamorous to swan around in this winter, so this feather cape ticks all the right boxes. She could also do with a new vase to replace the one that got smashed in the whole framing-Andy-saga and I reckon this teardrop copper vaseteardrop copper vase would look perfect in Home Farm. As for the book? The Parenting For Dummies guide might be a little bit too late, but thanks to the reader who suggested that gift!
Boho traveller Rebecca might be sticking around in the village for now, but in case she gets the wanderlust again, this Lonely Planet Travelist guide would be the perfect gift. Life as a daddy’s girl doesn’t come easy when you’ve got all that cash to keep safe, so how about this cute embroidered purse? And she might have just got the message about a certain ex but just in case, soppy rom-com He’s Just Not That Into You might serve as a reminder that there’s more to life than pining over a guy.
Liv, Aaron and Robert
Living with her food-loving family, Liv will be very familiar with the hangover classic, a Full English Breakfast and these cool pencils would be a fun gift, even better because she can use them to sketch everything and anything in the book 642 Things to Draw. To cope with the Yorkshire cold, the d*cks at school and the patriarchy, this cutting slogan bobble hat is a great gift.
There’s one thing on Aaron Dingle’s mind at the moment and that’s moving to the Mill with his fiance and little sis and that’s only going to mean trouble, so the essential gift for Aaron right now is this pocket survival guide. Being that he’s pretty settled and happy living in the pub, he might just miss it a bit but these alcohol scented toiletries will take him right back there. Nice! As for the straight-to-the-point bathmat, I think it’s pretty clear who’d be buying him that.
The biggest Christmas wish for Robert from readers of this blog (apart from a real divide over whether his shirts are awful or awesome) was for friends, so how about the classic self-help book How to Win Friends and Influence People? It sounds perfect for him. Divisive issues aside, it just wouldn’t be right not to give Robert an (ugly) patterned shirt for the festive season and finally, an apt little notebook for all his terrible plans.
Gabby Thomas and Emma Barton
I’m still recovering from the shock revelation that Gabby isn’t actually a vegan after all but on the off chance she fancies trying it for real, this tasty looking recipe book honestly makes going vegan look good. I think we can all remember eyebrow!gate earlier in the year, but now that Gabby’s put down the marker pen she could have a go with a proper kit to give her an enhanced natural look. On a sadder note, this memory box would be a great gift for the Thomas family who will need to treasure all their happiest family memories as Ashley’s illness worsens.
Emma’s recent attempts to gain forgiveness and form a friendship with enemy-turned-BFF Moira gives meaning to this Sisters Before Misters mug – I love it! This sweet pair of angel wings wouldn’t look amiss on Emma, with her innocent smile hiding the truth of James’ death, and would certainly fit with her attempts to embrace a more Christian outlook! But, the perfect gift for terrible cook Emma Barton is a recipe book, but not just any cookbook, a book full of chicken recipes called A Bird in the Hand. Essential.
The Best of the Rest: Gift Suggestions from Readers of this Blog
- Lachlan: Rat poison
- Zak: glasses “to see what’s right in front of him”
- Rodney: a gift voucher for Hotten’s finest hairdresser “on condition that ponytail doesn’t make it out of there alive”
- Aaron: a new car, considering his last one ended up at the bottom of the lake!
- Paddy & Marlon: matching Star Trek mugs (aww)
- Chas: a better business partner (ouch!)
- Bob & Brenda: tickets to the Woolpack, just to see them out of the cafe
- Moira: a low-cut blouse!
- Pearl: a Cucumber/Banana DVD boxset (well, we know she loves “the gays”)