Rodney: How I enjoy overhearing my daughter planning which costume she’s going to have sex in…
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Category: Quote of the Week
Quote of the Week (30 Sep-4 Oct 2019)
Bernice: I’m not gonna walk down the aisle with any Tom, Dick or Harry.
Sam: You have before! She’s been wed three times already!
Liam: Actually it’s four.
Bernice: Strictly speaking, I don’t count Lawrence. It wasn’t consummated. […] They’ve both been married before!
Lydia: Yes, to Steve and Alice, who tragically died.
Bernice: Liam’s been widowed too.
Sam: Yeah and then he married a paedo!
Liam: Do you want a punch on the nose?
Quote of the Week (23-27 Sep 2019)
Doug: They’re gonna make an example of me.
Rodney: Who? No drugs gang’s gonna feel threatened by, forgive me, an old man with a greenhouse and a bad back.
Quote of the Week (16-20 Sep 2019)
Rishi: Go on, bite it.
Marlon: I am.
Rishi: Run it all over your tongue.
Marlon: I know how to eat!
Quote of the Week (9-13 Sep 2019)
Sarah: Is the WiFi not working?
Brenda: No, I’m afraid not. But I have called all the emergency services, but they didn’t seem to think it was very important.
Quote of the Week (2-6 Sep 2019)
Arthur: Nicola said we have to play outside in the garden for an hour before tea because her and Jimmy are moving furniture in the bedroom.
Quote of the Week (26-30 Aug 2019)
Robert: I thought you were good at the old awkward silence, but Jacob’s just raised it to a whole new level.
Aaron: He was probably just scared we were going to drive him into the woods and dig a hole.
Quote of the Week (19-23 Aug 2019)
Laurel: I’m just…
Nicola: The monkey, he’s the organ grinder.
Laurel: I was gonna say his girlfriend, actually.
Nicola: Don’t call yourself a girlfriend, not at our age. Not unless you’re Bernice.
Quote of the Week (12-16 Aug 2019)
Jessie: I mean, what about Leanna? Where do I even start? She is a precious, manipulative little diva!
Bernice: And that’s a problem because?
Liam: We’re very proud of my daughter’s unique and vibrant personality.
Quote of the Week (5-9 Aug 2019)
Robert: Back in the day, I would have said: screw it, let’s not tell her. Because once she’s pregnant. That’s it, done deal.
[tumbleweed]
Robert: But as you know, I’m a lot more sensible these days, so Nat needs to know the truth.
