Robert: If you can answer this simple question then I might be kind to you: How much weed would a woodchip chip, if a woodchip could chip weed?
Category: Quote of the Week
Quote of the Week (12-16 June 2017)
Ross: You’re the man, The Don. But remember: tell no-one. First rule of Plant Club…[Doug walks away]
Doug Potts, the master of pot heads!
Quote of the Week (5-9 June 2017)
Sandy: Salad isn’t food! It’s what food eats!
Quote of the Week (29 May-2 June 2017)
Marlon: Will you stop going on about how good looking [Matt] is?!
Paddy: Sorry but he’s funny, isn’t he? He’s really chill and…
Marlon: Seriously! Have you licked his face yet?!
Quote of the Week (22-26 May 2017)
Sam: [Lydia] would just be better off trying to get another cockatoo.
Quote of the Week (15-19 May 2017)
Paddy: She’s only “the one” cos the others either died or divorced you…I’m so sorry!
Marlon: It’s not like that!
Paddy: Sorry, it’s just that you can’t put alternative facts into your proposal speech.
Quote of the Week (8-12 May 2017)
Jimmy: Oh perfect timing! [Gollum voice] My precious!
Nicola: Oh no, don’t do your Gollum. It makes me feel sick.
Quote of the Week (1-5 May 2017)
Jai: What are you doing?
Rishi: I promised Lydia I would tidy my desk. She says you should throw things away that do not bring joy.
Priya: I don’t think she meant basic office equipment, Dad.
Quote of the Week (24-28 April 2017)
Bob: Me and Viv used to love a bit of role play. ‘Ey, tried it with Brenda once. She had this fantasy about going with a Russian spy. But I just couldn’t get to grips with the accent.
Quote of the Week (17-21 April 2017)
Nurse: We do need a full [sperm] sample. Use the orange cord if you’ve got any problems.
Adam: Yeah. Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll give it a good pull.
Nurse: [stunned silence]
Adam: I-I’m sorry. I-I meant…I meant the cord.
